You Can Choose Joy
YOU CAN CHOOSE JOY. 💕
Yes, things can feel challenging in the moment, and yes, it's important to acknowledge the challenges...
But your default can be happiness. Your default can be simplicity. Your default can be enjoyment.
Perspective is everything...and while it's important that we validate our emotions, it's equally important to check them. To ensure that our emotions are validating us.
To ensure that our thoughts & emotions and the way we perceive things are helping us see our power, our ability to create the lives we crave.
So if you job is making you crazy, ask yourself why. Is there something you can do to change the situation you don't like (deal with a relationship or issue) or is this misalignment you sense actually your instinct showing you that there is another opportunity more suited to you out there? What can I do to pivot back?
If you're unhappy with the way your kids are behaving, ask yourself why. Is there something going on with them (problem at school, a friend issue, something that needs to be addressed medically) or is there a chance they are reflecting some of your "stuff" back to you and that is causing a bigger conflict (I've caught myself here so many times and fixing this has been a gamechanger for my family time and time again). What can we all do to pivot back?
If you can't stand your spouse anymore, what has changed? What were your goals at the beginning of your union and how have you gone off track (we all do)? What have they done to contribute to the friction...but more importantly, what have you done? What can we do as a couple to pivot back?
And here's the thing. Being happy is a feeling, but it's a feeling we choose. In that, it's a direction we take...and when things start to go off course ('cause they will), we pivot back to happy.
We remind ourselves of what we truly want and how we want it, and we start making the choices that support it.
So do we just want a job? Or do we want a job that makes us feel validated and happy most of the time?
Do we just want a family? Or do we want a tribe we crave being around?
Do we just want a spouse or partner? Or do we want a best friend that we can't live without even if he leaves his socks all over and gives us dyed flowers on our anniversary?
I know it's become taboo to say you can choose happy, for fear of invalidating people's honest and sometimes paralyzing struggles, and it is never my intent to ignore or dishonour people who are moving through challenges, and victims who have suffered at the hands of people and systems. And I'm not qualified to give advice that is deserved in most of those situations.
But for many, I'd suggest that you make your default "happiness". Make that your goal, and then when things don't align and feel the way you want them to feel, be really honest with yourself.
Ask yourself what things you can change on the outside...and then look inward and consider what you could change on the inside to bring you the joy, love, and freedom that you seek.
And remember, taking responsibility for things does not include shame. NO SHAME. ❌
Just saying "Hey, here's something I've been doing and now I see how it impacts my family in a negative way" rather than, "I'm so stupid. Why haven't I seen this all along? I'm such a shitty mom."
Please stop punishing yourself. You truly are amazing. Your soul is so beautiful and it wants you to be giddy with joy. Align your decisions with the joy you seek. It's a commitment for sure, but a very rewarding one.