IT'S UP TO YOU - HOW CHOICE PLAYS INTO A LIFE OF FULFILLMENT
During the past half a decade I have been on a quest of personal development. I’ve dared myself to do and learn the things that would help me be brave enough to be the person I knew I was deep inside.
The person who, if unfiltered and unguarded, could change the world. Could crush big goals. Could show my kids that anyone can do ANYTHING they set their minds to. And being your best self is a fluid and achievable thing.
On my journey, I have learned a lot. I have been humbled over and over by my own shortcomings, but inspired by the knowledge that mistakes are a part of success, and growth cannot be achieved without stretching, pain, and sacrifice.
The following are the 3 things I had to learn to be able to deal with just about any situation.
1. My life is exactly what I’ve attracted.
Barring unforeseen, unprecedented, and tragic circumstances that no one can prepare for I believe that every situation I have gotten into was somehow precipitated by me.
If my kids are acting like monsters, it’s probably because I set them up to be monsters that day. I've probably contributed to monsterville with things like a lack of routine, late nights, sleeping in, poor modelling, and setting unclear expectations.
When things aren’t going right it’s not because I have a crappy husband, kids, friends, business partners, etc.
I learned this stuff fairly early on in my journey and I can say it has benefited me to have this understanding. And I still have days where I fall of the tracks. I’m not perfect, but find joy in the little things and I focus on creating the life I want in order to live a happy life.
2. The way I choose to act has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.
I’m either a patient person or not. If someone tests my patience, it’s on me if I lose it.
I’m either respectful or not. If someone flips me off on the highway, how I respond is on me.
I’m either loving or not. I don't get to turn on unkindness, rudeness, and judgment when tempted and then call myself a good person because I'm nice when it's easy.
In the end, we choose who we are. We choose how we're going to respond to the circumstances around us. I’ve shown who I really am. If someone gives you an excuse to be crappy to them, prove who you really are.
A strong person is a person who decides who they are and regardless of what comes up, sticks to that. If you decide you can be crappy because they were crappy, now we have two crappy people.
Can I just say, though? We make mistakes. We screw up. We're gonna do that stuff sometimes, but the magic is in recognizing it early on to prevent further damage and to give us an opportunity to apologize and do better next time.
And you can change. You can change right now. Maybe you were that yesterday. But you can alter your thoughts, alter your beliefs, alter your behaviours, and ultimately alter your life.
3. Optimism and staying positive are key to an abundant life.
A life of joy and abundance will not happen if I focus on negative. If my radar is set up to detect negative that’s all I will detect. I will blindly ignore positive.
There will always be negative you can focus on. It might not even be truth, but there are negative ideas, negative feelings, negative reactions, and negative predictions that are always around us.
The thing about negativity is it works on two levels in life. It seeds an idea and breathes life into that idea. It gives that idea fuel and allows it to burn hot, spreading more of itself over everyone and everything you come into contact with.
And on a higher level, negativity sends a message from you to the world that you are cool with that stuff, and the world will continue to support the negativity with opportunities to be disappointed, fearful, and unhappy.
The happiest people I know are people who choose happiness. They choose to celebrate little wins, instead of lamenting over small losses. Their happiness is contagious and they attract other people and opportunities. And that positivity becomes the raging fire that continues to bring blessings and good things to them and those around them into perpetuity.
Right now might not be the time to get all fancy and change everything, but it's a good time to reflect on our own state of being and how we choose to direct our lives.
What kind of things do I attract to my life?
Am I taking responsibility for the things I say and do? Or do I blame my hubby, my kids, my friends, work, etc.?
Do I think positive and optimistic thoughts? Or do I find myself succumbing to negativity (maybe even anxious or worry thoughts)?
I'm here because I've been where you are...and I've found things that have helped change my mindset and helped create more joy, healing, and love in my life. These are my gold nuggets and I wanted to share them with you.
I hope this message speaks to you on your own personal growth journey.