How do You Define Your Value?

Hello Friend!  I have something important to say about you and your desire to earn your value, to prove your worth...I want to tell you this:
 
You are already worthy.  Welcome to worthiness.  You just need to do the heart work to become rooted in worthiness.
 
WHAT IS WORTHINESS?
 
Worthiness = The quality of being good enough/the quality of deserving attention or respect
 
It looks like:
  1. Confidence
  2. Doing what you want and being certain of yourself
  3. Not questioning yourself or others
  4. Time unwasted
  5. Leaning into situations
  6. Making swift decisions
  7. Not trying to control how others act
  8. Boundaries for yourself and others (enforced)
 
It feels like
  1. Security
  2. Comfort
  3. Relaxed, not stressed
  4. Certainty in who you are
  5. Leaning into situations
 
It doesn’t look like:
  1. Not accepting compliments...or thinking you have to give one back
  2. Being highly aware of yourself and thinking others are too
  3. Withdrawing from things you wanted to do
  4. Believing you always have to explain yourself.  A simple no thanks is often good enough
  5. Discouragement
  6. Frustration
  7. Jealousy
  8. Lack of clarity
  9. Lack of certainty
  10. Doubt 
I want to tell you that your worthiness is 100 %.  You are worth everything you want already.  You are full-blown worthy.  You were born that way.  Nothing you have done.  Nothing anyone has done to you can taint your value.  NOTHING.  NOTHING.
 
Your life was created with purpose for a purpose.   And your heart has been there to pour desires and dreams into your entire life.  You are meant to fulfill those things.
 
WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU WANT IN LIFE?  WHAT DO YOU VALUE?
 
  • Happiness
  • Freedom
  • Security
  • Advancement
  • Fun
  • Comfort
  • Safety
  • Peace
  • Family
  • Time
  • Integrity
  • Leadership
  • Friendship
  • Loyalty
  • Commitment
  • Time
  • Creativity
  • Serenity 
WHAT ARE THE MATERIAL THINGS THAT MAY REPRESENT THE ABOVE FOR YOU:
  • Travel
  • House/vacation house
  • Boats
  • Car/trucks
  • Recreation vehicles
  • Clothing
  • Jewelry
  • Food
  • Music
  • Concerts/Events
  • Treats
 
What or Who determines whether you are worthy?   What or Who determines whether or not you should have those things?  And why do we believe that money, love, and all the things listed above are a reflection of our worth?
 
  • I’m not good enough…that’s why this happens.   
  •  must have brought this on myself.  
  • Why don’t I make more money?  I’m a good person.  
  • Why can’t I find love?  I’m a good person.  
  • Why can’t I make friends easily?  I’m a good person.  
This is flawed thinking that causes us to think we need to work harder to be better.  So we smile more.  We offer more of ourselves.  We say yes more.  We go to the back of the line more.  When We should be doing the opposite.  We should start being ourselves more.  Yes, be of service, but not out of guilt, but out of passion.  Out of joy.  Not out of the notion that we owe the universe before we will get what we are looking for.
 
When you think you have to earn it, you will work forever, especially if you are a heart-led person.  You will never feel like you are worthy enough.   Never.  You will never feel like you have enough permission…
 
 
WHAT LIES HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING YOURSELF ABOUT YOUR WORTHINESS?  WHAT THINGS HAVE YOU BEEN HOLDING BACK FROM MAKE HAPPEN IN YOUR LIFE?
 
  • Finding love
  • Leaving a bad relationship
  • Fixing a fixable relationship
  • Making boatloads of money
  • Getting that promotion at work
  • Changing careers
  • Purchasing your dream home/car
  • Taking a vacation
  • Learning a new skill
  • Spending time on a hobby you love
I FEEL LIKE MY GENERATION WAS TAUGHT THAT OUR WORTH WAS ACHIEVED, IT WAS EARNED, IT WAS TRADED FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
 
We were taught practice and to value things like:
  • Being quiet
  • Being “good” 
  • Respecting authority (and we weren’t taught that not everyone in authority is to be respected or trusted)
  • Looking to others
  • Pleasing others
  • Smiling and nodding
  • Being last in line for everything 
 
And the more you sacrificed the better person you were.  You had more worth.  It is SO screwed up.
 
  • You have to stop associating how you have been treated with your worth.
  • You have to stop associating your own personal reactions (with all the biases, stories, and sensitivities) with your worth.
  • You have to stop associating your mistakes with your worth.
  • You have to stop associating your past with your worth.
  • You have to stop associating your friends, your relationships with your worth.
  • You have to stop associating your present situation with your worth.
  • You have to stop associating your limitations with your worth.
So we want to move from this and redefine our worthiness.  We want to retrain our minds around worthiness being at the root of who we are instead of it being something we need to find, capture, trade off for.  
 
You have probably perpetuated your own sense of unworthiness through your programming.  That programming is from parents, media, the school system…but you can change it.  It’s not your fault.
 
You can give yourself the permission you need to 
  • Fully express yourself.
  • Make mistakes
  • Grow out of people and places
  • Redefine yourself
  • Start a new blog
  • Dump something that doesn’t align with you anymore
  • Make new friends
  • Go back to school
  • Whatever you are called to do.
Rooting yourself in worthiness will help make your life work in flow, in optimism, and in growth.  I challenge you to jump in and do my Welcome to Worthiness Challenge this week!

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