Confronting Mr. Grumpypants
I remember 20 years ago an encounter I had with a grumpy man downtown.
I had pulled into the diagonal parking spot right next to him. I had pulled in from the opposite side of the street. I kinda’ had to pull a u-ey to get that spot.
And I quickly hopped out of my car and started to zip across the very quiet street, when I heard “Hey!” from the man in the truck parked beside my car.
Funny, I actually thought he had something important to tell me so I walked back to my car and said hello.
And that’s when it started, “You effing asshole!” (he used the other word for effing, but you know me)
I was in shock. Not sure if anyone in my whole 26 years had ever called me that. So I stood there and listened as he long-ranted about my bad parking job and how I could have killed him.
I was embarrassed. This is not a situation anyone would want to be in.
Had I broken the law when I made the u-turn to park? Had I actually endangered him?
I was apologetic, “I’m so sorry, Sir.”
“You’re not sorry, you asshole!”
And that’s when I just turned and walked away.
And although the encounter was over, in the days that came after, I replayed it over and over in my head.
Here were some of my thoughts:
- I shouldn’t have pulled in and parked that way. (I started this – shame on me.)
- But if he wasn’t there, it wouldn’t have mattered.
- I should have just kept walking when he called me over. (I wish I had been smarter and known what was about to happen.)
- I should have told him to eff off. (I’m so bad at thinking on my feet.)
- I should have never apologized. (I’m such a loser, why did I make myself so vulnerable.)
- I can’t believe that happened to me. (Maybe if I was smarter, prettier, cooler, better, luckier this would have never even happened to me.)
You guys! I used to think like this ALL the time. Shame, self-blame, internalizing every incident as a reflection on my value.
When someone treated me bad (or I interpreted it as that way) I saw it as what I deserved.
I couldn’t just see someone’s behaviour as belonging to them. It belonged to me. It hung around my neck and dragged me down, and when something else happened I would add that one to the pile too.
Until the burden of all that added up…and it really hit me.
I will NOT own their bad behaviour.
I will NOT make their behaviour say anything about who I am.
I will NOT allow them to make me feel as lousy as they are in their moment of indecency.
And I chose worthiness.
I want you to choose worthiness too. For you. For your now. For your future.
Worthiness is a big one…and without a true sense of it, we can be steered so far off course, chasing validation, love, opportunities in circles.
If you’re already in for next week’s Welcome to Worthiness FREE 3-Day Challenge, congratulations! I’m so excited that you’re gonna be there.
If not, why the heck not?!
Grab your spot asap.
See you on the inside!