Confronting Mr. Grumpypants

I remember 20 years ago an encounter I had with a grumpy man downtown.
 
I had pulled into the diagonal parking spot right next to him.  I had pulled in from the opposite side of the street.  I kinda’ had to pull a u-ey to get that spot.
 
And I quickly hopped out of my car and started to zip across the very quiet street, when I heard “Hey!” from the man in the truck parked beside my car.
 
Funny, I actually thought he had something important to tell me so I walked back to my car and said hello.
 
And that’s when it started, “You effing asshole!” (he used the other word for effing, but you know me)
 
I was in shock.  Not sure if anyone in my whole 26 years had ever called me that.   So I stood there and listened as he long-ranted about my bad parking job and how I could have killed him.
 
I was embarrassed.  This is not a situation anyone would want to be in.
 
Had I broken the law when I made the u-turn to park?  Had I actually endangered him?
 
I was apologetic, “I’m so sorry, Sir.”
 
“You’re not sorry, you asshole!”
 
And that’s when I just turned and walked away.
 
And although the encounter was over, in the days that came after, I replayed it over and over in my head.
 
Here were some of my thoughts:
 
  • I shouldn’t have pulled in and parked that way. (I started this – shame on me.)
 
  • But if he wasn’t there, it wouldn’t have mattered. 
 
  • I should have just kept walking when he called me over. (I wish I had been smarter and known what was about to happen.)
 
  • I should have told him to eff off. (I’m so bad at thinking on my feet.)
 
  • I should have never apologized. (I’m such a loser, why did I make myself so vulnerable.)
 
  • I can’t believe that happened to me. (Maybe if I was smarter, prettier, cooler, better, luckier this would have never even happened to me.)
 
You guys!  I used to think like this ALL the time.  Shame, self-blame, internalizing every incident as a reflection on my value.
 
When someone treated me bad (or I interpreted it as that way) I saw it as what I deserved.  
 
I couldn’t just see someone’s behaviour as belonging to them.  It belonged to me.  It hung around my neck and dragged me down, and when something else happened I would add that one to the pile too.
 
Until the burden of all that added up…and it really hit me.
 
I will NOT own their bad behaviour.
 
I will NOT make their behaviour say anything about who I am.
 
I will NOT allow them to make me feel as lousy as they are in their moment of indecency.
 
And I chose worthiness.
 
I want you to choose worthiness too.  For you.  For your now.  For your future.  
 
Worthiness is a big one…and without a true sense of it, we can be steered so far off course, chasing validation, love, opportunities in circles.
 
If you’re already in for next week’s Welcome to Worthiness FREE 3-Day Challenge, congratulations!  I’m so excited that you’re gonna be there.
 
If not, why the heck not?!
 
Grab your spot asap. 
 
See you on the inside!

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